Friday, April 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 16:26:29 GMT

No thanks Yoda. Haha I'm a dork.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 15:15:01 GMT

Wow, it's been more than three months since I updated this thing.... I'll start with "20 Reasons why Chuck Norris Ownz!!"

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

14. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

15. Chuck Norris can actually breath fire.

16. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

17.Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

18.If you look at Chuck Norris while he is smiling, your entire family will get AIDS.

20.Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck's tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.

**Real update on what I've been doing the last 3 months to follow later this week**

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 14:07:02 GMT

Well, I'm off to Vegas for 5 days for the biggest fighting game tournament in the world. Snax, I'll see at GVR! Payce out Boston!

hahahaha, awesome. Damn I'm a dork.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 15:00:00 GMT

2 More days until EVO!!!!!!! Vegas baby Vegas! In honor of EVO here are MarkMan's top ten reasons to go to Evolution 2005 from VGO Network:

1.) It's in Las Vegas...

This year EVOLUTION is changing things... let's say it's the evolution of the fighting game tournament as a whole. Flocking away from Cal Poly Pomona and stepping into it's new domain in Las Vegas, Nevada... EVOLUTION 2005 will be held at the Green Valley Ranch Resort and will run from Friday, August 12th until Sunday, August 14th. THREE days of gaming mayhem!!!! Green Valley Ranch Resort is only minutes away from the Las Vegas Strip and will provide sanctuary from all the hectic casino action and Vegas nightlife.

Check out the trailer for EVO2K5 right HERE!!!

Also, EVO will be teaming up with Major League Gaming(MLG) to help bring the best video game competition EVER! If you're going to attend one gaming event this year, this is the one to go to.

2.) World Premiere Screenings...

Manga Entertainment is proud to present the WORLD PREMIERE of Street Fighter Generations, the sequel to the wildly popular Street Fighter Alpha anime. Attendees at EVO will be the first audience to EVER see the movie! Street Fighter Generations will be shown on the night of Friday, August the 12th.

3.) Bang the Machine!...

Fans in the fighting game community know exactly what Bang the Machine is all about... A documentary profiling the lifestyles of those in the Street Fighter tournament scene... the top competitors and the tournaments they enter... Bang the Machine follows them from Sunnyvale to Las Vegas as they battle for the right to be on Team USA. The prize being a trip to Japan, home of the world's most advanced video gaming culture, and the chance to take on the best in a championship match between two national teams. Also, executive producer Peter Kang will be on hand to present Bang the Machine to EVOLUTION attendees, and will answer questions you might have about the flim. Bang the Machine will be shown following Street Fighter Generations Friday night, August the 12th.

4.) World Class Competition...

EVOLUTION 2005 being the biggest fighting game tournament in the world, not just by attendance, but by the quality of it's players. Top players from all over the world will be coming this year to compete in Tekken 5, Tekken Tag Tournament, Marvel vs Capcom 2, Capcom vs SNK 2, Guilty Gear XX #Reload, Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, and Super Street Fighter II Turbo. Players from Korea, Japan, Canada, Mexico, Europe, and of course the USA, will be battling to see who is number one!

This year VGO Network will be sponsoring Bronson 'insanelee' Tran and his quest to dominate in Tekken 5, Tekken Tag Tournament, Marvel vs Capcom 2. insanelee hails from San Jose, California and holds the title of Tekken 4 and Tekken 5 National Champion. Earlier this year he represented the United States at Super Battle Opera(Tougeki) in Japan as he took on the best that Japan had to offer in Tekken 5. He's focusing on Tekken 5 this year, but don't sleep on this champion! He plans on giving it his all in both Tekken Tag and MvC2 as well.

5.) Largest Tournament of It's Kind...

With literally over hundreds of players from all over the world, the EVOLUTION series of tournaments is a madhouse. I'd like to recognize players to look out for and the leaders of the fighting game community for making all of this possible. My deepest respect and praise go to: Joey Cuellar, Tom Cannon, Tony Cannon, Harry Chang, Mike Watson, Seth Killian, Ben Cureton, Kuni Funada, Vik Steyaert, David Sirlin, James Chen, John Choi, Derek Daniels, Rich Delauder, Pip Stuart, Marielle Dizon, Daniel Quach, Masafumi Ino, Jay Esendencia, Hardcore Gamer Magazine, Manga Entertainment, Udon Comics, VGO Network, SD TEKKEN, Atlus, Bradygames, Nubytech, Tecmo, Hori, McFarlane Toys, Tips & Tricks Magazine, Headbanger Audio, Kindevu, Miu, ID, Marneto, Chaotic Blue, Kenbou, Yuu, Hato, Qudans, Maddog Jin, JOP, tomhilfiger, insanelee, BAS, Ricky Ortiz, Peter Rosas, Alex Valle, Vic Vance, MOV, Shin-ya Onuki, Justin Wong, Duc Do, Takayuki, Mitsu, Sanford Kelly, SooMighty, and so many more players to mention there literally isn't enough room to recognize everyone that makes EVO what it is.

6.) Japan vs USA, the Rematch!...

One of our highlights of EVOLUTION 2005 is the 5 on 5 USA versus Japan Tekken 5 and Street Fighter III 3rd Strike matchup. Get ready for some 5 on 5 round robin action featuring some of the best from both sides of the Pacific! Will the Japanese quintet leave the Americans trailing in the dust? Or will the Americans make their mark in fighting game history as the first team to best the Japanese in a team competition? FIND OUT AT EVO!

7.) Leading Industry and Gaming Companies...

Leading industry and gaming companies will be in attendance to give the gamers a taste of what they can expect now and in the future. At EVO you can expect a lot of exclusives and first looks at new products so keep your eyes open there will definately be something there that will appeal to gamers. Hori and Tecmo will be teaming up at EVOLUTION this year to showcase some exclusive titles for the holiday season. Hori will be showcasing their upcoming products set for US release as well. Headbanger Audio & Pelican will be showcasing their newest products to satisfy any gamer's appetite for tech. Hardcore Gamer Magazine will be giving away free magazines and prizes, make sure you check out their booth! Expect to see new trailers and previews from upcoming games made by Atlus.

8.) Cash and Prizes!...

Based on previous year's attendance, 2005 is looking to have over $10,000 dollars worth of cash and prizes up for grabs. Raffles and giveaways will be common place for attendees this year. Keep an eye out for Udon Comics as they will be doing tons of giveaways for fans in attendance. Also special thanks to our sponsors for providing some of the prizes: Hardcore Gamer Magazine, Manga Entertainment, Udon Comics, Gamer Graffix, Saitek, Atlus, Bradygames, NubyTech, Tecmo, Hori, McFarlane Toys, Tips & Tricks Magazine, Headbanger Audio and Pelican.

9) Exclusives Exclusives Exclusives!!!

Like the previous year at Evolution, where Tekken 5 arcade was playable first time for the gaming public. This year won't be any different! Although we are bound by word not to say anything, but we promise you that the surprises in store for our attendees will be worthy of the word EVO. So, stop by all of our exhibitors or you just might miss your chance on the big opportunties! And of course, stick around the Finals on Sunday as there will be plenty of surprises for all gamers alike!

10) By the Gamers for the Gamers...

When all is said and done EVOLUTION 2005 is a tournament for the fighting game community, by the fighting game community. 2005 marks the 7th year of this world class tournament and any doubt there will be more to come in the years ahead. For any questions or more information about EVO2005 later this week please visit the official EVOLUTION 2005 website at www.EVO2K.com ! I'll see you there!

NOTE: Special thanks to the staff of EVOLUTION as they are the real reason great things like this happen. Parts of this article were taken from the official EVO2005 website.

- EVOLUTION 2005: Frequently Asked Questions -

What is EVO2K5?

The EVO2K5 tournament is a 3-day event devoted solely to hard-core competition on console fighting games. The tournament takes place August12-14, 2005, at Green Valley Ranch in Las Vegas.

What is there to do at EVO2K5?

Why, play lots of fighting games of course! There is a huge gaming arena at EVO2K5. This tournament hall will run non-stop game tournaments all weekend long. If tournaments aren't your thing, located at another part of the room will be a BYOC (bring your own console) area where you can socialize with other gaming fanatics and play any game you like. Just plug in and play.

Additionally, we'll have several exhibitors on the show floor. This is your chance to check out the latest games and gear from companies like Pelican, Hori, and Tecmo.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 17:39:35 GMT

If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 18:03:50 GMT

"50 cent's new album is bound to go platinum. So formula 50 decided to go platinum too, not to be outdone, we are happy to announce the release of our own album, "hydrate or die tryin'." All we need is one little shout out on the MTV video music awards. suckaz be movin' out the way at them beverage conferences. Plus our drink has the nutrients that you need to fuel you through your day. That's just how we roll here in Queens."
~On a bottle of Vitamin "Water Formula 50"

Who ever thought a thug like Fiddy would be endorsing products such as fruit water? Haha, See it for yourself at: http://www.vitaminwater.com and choose Formula 50 from the flavor window.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 18:51:03 GMT

Arrrrghhhh!!!! What the F&%#???? why does my poor car have the worst luck EVER. A DHL Van hit and dented the main body while i was parked at work. DHL you are going DOWN!!! That's the last time me or my company ships with your punk yellow & red ass!!

At least the bastard was honest and didn't just do a hit and run.... Booooo.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 17:47:13 GMT

So I just got my plane tickets for Evolution 2005 in August. This will be the farthest I've ever traveled for a Tekken Tourny, but it'll be worth it battling it out with the best players in the world and chillin with the MA, RI and NY crews. I plan to take part in the other tournies as well as lots of casuals. Oh and by the way did I mention that it's in Vegas?? Largest fighting game tournament in the world + drinking & gambling in Vegas = Maximum Pwnage!!! It's only April and I'm already pysched!!! Still need to find out where I'm staying, but I have time to figure that out.

Guregu's Xanga

R.I.P George Carlin

Friday, August 11, 2006